5 Great reasons to fall in love

Pooja Bedi, TNN | May 29, 2012, 12.00AM ISTIt's quite peculiar but everywhere I look, I see an absence of a very valuable emotion: Love. I see loveless marriages, bored couples just passing their years together because the security of being together outweighs the chances of their finding love again.

I also meet so many people scared to fall in love. Some of them are so scared at the possibility of being hurt that the thought of such an eventuality deters them from even trying, else, they have been bitten or become bitter by past experiences. Then there are those that are just too shy and some that think they are undeserving of being recipients of such an overwhelming emotion. And of course there are those that set their expectations as high as Angelina Jolie or George Clooney. Let me give you five great reasons to fall in love quick and to keep yourrelationship loving.

1. You feel great! Love struck individuals constantly churn out a brain chemical called dopamine, a feel-good stimulant that's responsible for those feelings of bliss, optimism and patience. It infuses you with energy, excites you to discover and do new things, eat new food, and the smallest of things cause so much joy.

2. You lose weight. When in love your body is constantly pumping out a neurotransmitter called norepinephrine, which in turn produces adrenaline which suppresses your appetite. Besides, most of us tend to hit the gym more often in order to look and feel our best.

3. Whoever said "a fool in love" couldn't have been more wrong because you become smarter! Scientists at the University of Pavia in Italy found that falling in love raises levels of a hormone that improves memory by triggering the growth of new brain cells.

4. You look younger because oxytocin, triggers the release of DHEA, an anti-aging hormone that triggers cell restoration in the body.

5. People in a relationships have 1/3 the death rate of single people and having a romantic support system protects the body from developing high levels of cortisol (the stress hormone), which causes heart disease. What are you waiting for? Go out there and fall in love.....!

I am 16-year-old boy and I met a girl on the first day of my school. I am attracted to her and incidently she sat in front of me during exams. She asked me for answers and I told her. Then one day she messaged me on a social networking site and we shared our numbers. Since then we have been talking regularly. But lately she has stopped calling me. What do I do?

It seems evident contact was made, waters were tested and the ship sailed on. Or perhaps she was expecting more than just chatter? Try sending her a little present or a lovely bunch of flowers. It's a small investment but may reap rich rewards!

I am a 27-yea-old man and am not sure whether I am in a relationship or not. I know this girl for the past five years. We like each other and I went ahead and asked her mother for her hand. I was refused flatly on my face. I have been taking care of their family for a while now both emotionally and financially and don't understand what more they want. She has never liked anyone else and now I am confused what to do. Please help.

It's sad that while you are supportive of the family emotionally and also financially, they are clear they don't see you as anything more than a benefactor. Why don't you just put the ball in her court? Tell her that you're ready to settle down and would love to do so with her, but you leave the choice to her as to whether she chooses to reciprocate or shun the proposal and then decide if you'd like to continue the social service or make a future for yourself.

I am a 21-year-old boy who has always thought of having a girlfriend. All my friendshave their girls whom they keep talking to all the time but I feel they are all like stalkers. I always thought that first I should earn and then get into all this. Is this peer-pressure?

If your girlfriend will be happy with walks, holding hands and junk food, there's no problem. There are different stages for different ages. But you're not in your teens anymore. You're 21 and, I suggest you work hard and undistractedly towards a stable, financial future first. Use your spare time to read up and research what makes women tick and ways to cultivate the most satiating relationships. The need for romance is important, but money also plays a very crucial role in creating romance in relationships today. Coffee's, movies, lunches and dinners, presents, little getaways together, etc., are almost integral to relationship building. Why live a compromised life?

I am a 20-year-old girl and I have a cousin who is 14 years older to me and divorced. We have been on great terms but lately things went a little too far. We kissed and made out. He says he loves me and wants me. I know it is wrong but cannot stop. He now wants to make love to me. What do I do?

In India, there are different laws within religions and communities regarding intimate relationships with cousins. As you have not specified yours, I can only advise you to refrain, especially if you feel your family would be averse to it. I don't see the sense in starting something that cannot be sustained, or have long-term benefits and might in many aspects be something that may cause lots of grief, regret and complications.